


When She Cries

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: fiftysomething [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Humor, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2410322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She needed to get herself together; compartmentalize as she always did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When She Cries

**Author's Note:**

> Still searching for a name for this universe. Nothing is coming to me and it’s ticking me off. But I write anyway.

He woke to the sounds of her sobs.They sounded far away but that only meant she was trying to conceal them.They had been together a long time; it would not be the first time she hid her tears.Hotch turned slowly in bed.He didn’t want to make noise and scare her.The alarm clock on Emily’s nightstand said 1:42…he had been asleep for about three hours.He wondered if she slept at all.

 

The papasan chair Emily loved was turned to face the wall.She seemed to be hiding even from herself.Hotch got out of bed.He walked slowly across the room and turned the chair around.

 

“Hotch,” she quickly wiped her tears and tried to smile.“You should be asleep, honey.”

 

“How can I sleep when you're not beside me?What’s the matter?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Emily, we have been married for 13 years baby.I'm not taking nothing for an answer.”

 

She didn’t speak.He wanted to crouch down, did not like the idea of standing over her like a displeased headmaster, but his back would never forgive him.With a gentle nudge, Emily moved over and Hotch joined her in the chair.It was barely big enough for the two of them.They preferred the cozy fit of Emily sitting on his lap.

 

“Talk to me.” he held her, stroking her hair.

 

“I'm scared.”

 

“Of what?”

 

“That I won't be able to handle it when my dad dies.”

 

“I wish I could take that pain away.You're not going to be alone; we’ll handle it together.”

 

“He had a good day today.” Emily smiled sadly.“He didn’t want to go to sleep Hotch.He is afraid that tomorrow he won't have the energy to get out of bed.He and Natalie want us to bring the kids on Thursday evening for dinner.Julia is coming in from New York with Marianna and Josh.Hotch, he made it sound like the last time.”

 

“It could be.” Hotch reasoned.

 

“Don’t say that.” Emily shook her head.

 

“He has terminal cancer, Emily.He deserves to say goodbye to his loved ones.”

 

“I don’t want to give him up yet.I don’t want him giving up.”

 

“He’s not going to.He gets out of that bed day everyday that he can.It upsets me too.The kids are trying to brave but they are afraid.Jack told me this evening that Dylan wanted to talk to him about death.”

 

“What?”

 

“He told him about Haley.He was about Dylan’s age when she died.”

 

“I am trying to protect them from something that I can't.I can't fix this.”

 

“No.” Hotch shook his head.“Don’t make the same mistakes I did.Don’t shut me out.”

 

Emily held him tighter, trying to push away another wave of emotion.She needed to get herself together; compartmentalize as she always did.When the time came, she would have to look after her children and her stepmother.Natalie Prentiss had been a rock for the past eight months…someone had to hold her up too.

 

“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.” Hotch whispered.

 

“Don’t Aaron.”

 

“I love you so much, and I worry.Sometimes I let that worrying get the best of me.It’s hard when you are so close to another human being.No matter how hard you try, you can't ever shake the fear that you are going to lose them.All of you mean the whole world to me.”

 

“Its here, the fear is right in front of me.He doesn’t have much time left.”

 

“Then we make sure we use the time wisely.We will take the kids over on Thursday.We’ll bring home movies and celebrate all the times we've had as a family.I’ll even make the cupcakes he likes.”

 

“Hotch, dad hates those cupcakes.” Emily laughed.“He only says he loves them because he loves you.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yeah.” She nodded.

 

“He’s been eating them for a decade.”

 

“He is that kind of guy.”

 

“Yes, he is.” Hotch wiped Emily’s tears and took a deep breath.“Come to bed baby.I know you're exhausted.”

 

“I'm sorry I woke you.I know you have a busy day tomorrow.”

 

“I don’t care.You come first.I have always wanted to say that now I can for sure.C'mon.”

 

Emily stood and helped him out of the chair.They went over to their bed with their arms around each other.Hotch climbed in, holding the covers open for his wife.Emily lay in his arms and just breathed.

 

“I remember when my parents sat Julia and I down to tell us they were divorcing.I was almost eleven; I wasn’t even devastated.Maybe I saw it coming, I don’t know.But I remember more vividly when he fell for Natalie.My father was always a loving man but with her I saw contentment for him and I could be nothing but happy.Over the years, the ups and downs of my own life, all I wanted was contentment like that.I found it with you.He was so happy for me.”

 

“He’s been a good father and a good grandfather.He has been a wonderful father-in-law.Greg Prentiss will have nothing to regret about his life.He even managed to build some kind of relationship with your mother.”

 

“But there were so many years when I wasn’t with him.I missed too much.”

 

“That was a long time ago.You had your whole adult life to be his little girl, to get things right.Some of us never had that.”

 

“Aaron, I'm sorry.I know you lost your dad when you were young.”

 

“Yeah.I never had the chance to make some things right.I have to do that with my own family.Sometimes I go overboard but I always mean well.”

 

“You are a wonderful father; ask our children if you're unsure.”

 

Hotch nodded, kissing her temple.They had seen their share of losses over the years; people close to them.Some knocked the wind out of them for a long time.Still they never gave up…they got up and kept going.Holding those close closer meant so much to them.Theirs was a most unconventional family but that didn’t make it any less loving.Emily would have much support when the time came.She had it now, in her bed and a simple phone call away.Hotch would take care of her as she had for him all of these years.They would make it through this time.It would not be easy but nothing worth fighting for was.

 

***

                                                                                                                        

  
  
 


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